you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i drank out of a bidet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
