I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
