Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
