If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i dont even know how to be here
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
