I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want nice things and good sex
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
