Sponge bath it is.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
