Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The air taste purple.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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