is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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