i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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