Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
