i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize