Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize