I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's shark week go big or go home
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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