All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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