I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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