dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
