just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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