GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
