Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
