Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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