I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
