anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
