Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
