Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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