i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
