bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
