In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
