that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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