I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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