You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
