i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
