i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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