I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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