I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I yelled at your uterus for you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
