just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
