3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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