she was so not down for the gang bang
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize