Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
