After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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