Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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