Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
