Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
