Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
