I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize