Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
