Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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