didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
