Its about making memories worth repressing
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
