We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
