Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
