if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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