If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
