You can't special order awesome
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
