Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize