She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
