No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
