you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
