Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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