guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
