You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
