You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
