Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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