lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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