Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
