How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
