He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
