Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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