It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
