Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
