For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
