I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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